There are times in your life when you need to have a sit down with your soul. She I and I had one the other day, and I came to some pretty painful conclusions (listed below). I encourage all women to challenge beliefs and acknowledge some things in their lives that may seem like rank 180s.
I despise self-righteous individuals. They preach, but they do not teach. They tear down and don't build up. They reap only what others have sown. But … every time I have engaged in gossip, even if it's just talking about celebrities in rehab, I become self-righteous. I have no right to judge these individuals whose lives are on display for my entertainment. I need to cut them some slack and mind my own business.
I laugh at super moms. These women work, volunteer, bake brownies, clean their own homes, get graduate degrees at night and go to the hairdresser every four weeks on the nose. But … I want to be one. I don't want to live vicariously through my children as many super moms do -- I want to live on my own achievements. A life coach would probably tell me that the brownies can go but furthering my education is a doable goal. Tough yes, and it would require implementing a lot of time management skills, but it would be well worth the effort.
I love being a mom. The biggest payoffs are the school functions when your little one is up on stage singing her heart out. I love the accoutrements that come with kids: the cute clothes, the sweet smiles, the growing up, the major milestones. But … I would love a whole week (or more) to myself. I could easily kiss the kids goodbye and head off to an undisclosed location, forgoing the responsibilities, if only for a little while. Someone else can cook, do the laundry, pay the bills, take the kids to school, and sign the papers. I understand that to some this may seem like shirking my duties. But a good friend once told me: Fill up your well or there will be nothing left.
I'm sick of seeing skinny models telling me that I need to be thin. They are a size two carrying case for bright teeth. But … I used to teach aerobics and I saw firsthand how women struggled with staying in shape. It wasn't so much the weight, but as one breast cancer survivor told me: "I'm not going back to the old days." She meant breathless after one flight of stairs, unhappy bouts with a bag of Oreos, and not being able to keep up with her kids. I wouldn't mind being a skinny model, but to get there I feel as though I'd forsake all the women in the gym who are still struggling. Maybe I'm just jealous because I want to be younger, maybe because they look happy cavorting with the top names in fashion and beauty. I'm still thinking that if only I were a little thinner, I might be a little happier. I hope my soul and I can free ourselves from that slavery. |
Bernadette Sukley |
| About the author: |
| Bernadette Sukley has written, edited, fact checked for nearly 20 years. Her topics range from health to sports and lifestyle, from human interest to hard news. Her work has appeared in Men’s Health, Sports Illustrated for Women, and ABROAD magazines. Currently polishing up 3 novels for publication, she welcomes discussions on women and literature.
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