The task of creating complicated trees tracing family roots back through the generations never captured my imagination. Name after name, date after date … they never seemed like real people to me. But I know the stories. It was the stories that amused me.
After holiday dinners, my father's family would sit in my Nana's tiny living room and tell the same stories each year. Uncle Bones with a forged permission form playing high school football after his parents said no -- until the Friday night his dad happened to be walking past the stadium when the announcer was going on and on about some "Webb" scoring a touchdown. Aunt Patsy, the World War II baby, born the day the telegraph came from overseas about Uncle Joe's plane crashing and named after the girl who would have married him had he returned. Aunt Alice, the aunt who always had a spare quarter so a kid could buy an ice cream, but always expected a taste in payment.
The problem is, families are moving further and further away from each other. The opportunities to tell these stories are rare, and some younger family members have never had the opportunity to laugh, cry, or meet these relatives who are only memories.
Several years ago I was at a workshop for women, and in one class the teacher spoke of how women are the keepers of the family flame. She was talking about those quirky stories that make our family different from the Smiths or O'Briens or Wozniskis. This teacher encouraged us to capture the family lore on paper, but it's easier said than done.
I tried, but the task seems overwhelming when you're faced with generations worth of stories to write down. Should I go in chronological order? Person by person? Themes? Then I found Bob Greene's books. Greene doesn't frighten you with big empty expanses you have to somehow fill up with words. Instead he gives you question after question: "What was your favorite song growing up?", "What did your living room look like?", "As a child, how did you celebrate birthdays?"
On and on, question after question. You don't have to answer every question, and some of the generic questions remind you of more personal questions you want to answer or ask an older relative. And the process can be very low-key. Answer a question today, a couple of questions tomorrow, maybe three next week. Skip around. Leave some for your brother or your mother.
I don't know about your family, but I've seen several relatives lose what part of the family flame they kept. Sure, I know some of the stories they used to tell, but I can't tell them in just the same way. I wish I had given Greene's book to them before age stole away the details they knew. Save your family stories -- they're worth it.
Fun Journaling Books
To Our Children's Children by Bob Greene
How to Make a Journal of Your Life by Daniel Price
Keeping Family Stories Alive by Vera Rosenbluth |
Jodi M. Webb |
| About the author: |
| Jodi has been leading the crazy life of a writer for over a decade--along the way she's had a 6 foot tall ostrich try to eat her camera bag, rode in a medieval cart built by high school students, and held a super-sized gold chain recovered from a shipwreck. Unfortunately the gold chain wouldn't fit in her camera bag or she'd be writing to you from a villa in Italy--not Pennsylvania. When not writing she spends her time reading mysteries and World War II histories and baking cookies.
She's also working on her first book, a mystery that reaches back into World War II for a motive. |
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