I'm ashamed to admit, I've pondered it. Maybe you have or haven't, but I'm willing to bet many of us have had that odd thought or two about plowing over our enemies.
I live in a part of the state that still has long country roads, farmland, and wooded areas teeming with wildlife. Unfortunately, it also comes with a lot of dead animals on the sides of the road. It's not that we are teeming with poor drivers in my neck of the woods; it's that animals are not the best judge of speed and distance. Sometimes it seems as though they dare each other to run across the road at the worst times. I've hit the occasional squirrel and rabbit and, to my utter disgust, I've hit a groundhog. I did not like the feeling. I still shudder when I drive by the spot where it happened.
A nasty comedienne once joked: "Never kill anyone; the satisfaction lasts about 5 seconds, and it can only be done once." I guess I didn't exactly fantasize about running over my old boss in my Subaru. It was more about "removing" her from my sphere of awareness. Now, any good therapist will probably tell you it's all about unresolved issues or about my powerlessness over the situation and not about inflicting physical harm on another individual. I never wanted to see my boss or anyone dead -- I just wanted her in a part of the world where she couldn't come back to bother me.
Exacting revenge is never a good thing. Hurting someone who has hurt you seems, on the surface, a cruel but fair exchange. But usually we want the person who's delivered the hurt to suffer a bit more than we did. So in getting back at my boss, I would have wanted not just hurt, but humiliation and her stripped of any power -- either real or perceived -- that she had over me. In essence, to see her furry little carcass on the side of the road for passersby to look at in revulsion. Was she that awful? No. Did she have my best interests at heart? No, she did not. A healthier fantasy would have been rehearsing a calm, well-thought-out speech articulating my dissatisfaction with the way she treated me.
It's no accident that maturity refers to development and to the way certain beverages like beer and wine age. We chill out, mellow out, become peaceful. Instead of wasting time on thoughts that would take me back, I should have spent time planning my career. My boss has since moved to Florida. I have since left the company. We will never see each other again. These days I drive more carefully. |
Bernadette Sukley |
| About the author: |
| Bernadette Sukley has written, edited, fact checked for nearly 20 years. Her topics range from health to sports and lifestyle, from human interest to hard news. Her work has appeared in Men’s Health, Sports Illustrated for Women, and ABROAD magazines. Currently polishing up 3 novels for publication, she welcomes discussions on women and literature.
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