You will. You can't help it. And it's likely I'll disappoint you. It's called the human condition. We fail, daily.
My daughter just disappointed me. She does it rarely. And it has nothing to whether she picked the blue tank over the pink one or she's decided on an odd body piercing. She disappointed me over her choice of life path. I saw her helping children. Instead, she's chosen the path well traveled.
I'll admit our family is in the minority. I've always heard parents telling their kids to go to school get a degree and then get a good job. But we always said: Do what you are passionate about. And I thought she was headed off for Peru to help children who seldom receive medical attention. Now, she's taken the conventional route -- the "get a good job" advice won out. I'll admit there's plenty of influence from my mother-in-law. Some grandmas have an undeserved reputation for being wise. I'm hoping my daughter will realize that Grandma ain't always right.
I don't blame her for choosing the safer path. There's a mountain of debt hitting most college kids these days. Student and car loans, insurance, and rent are among the many financial realities of life. These diminish some of the passion and idealism that young adults have. Worse, she's like me -- impatient. She had hoped for all her well-laid plans to fall into place. Immediate success with finding the perfect career just didn't happen. She was disappointed in the things she couldn't control and twice as disappointed in the things she could.
Walt Whitman said: All life is an experiment; the more experiments you make the better. We expect too much from life -- we can't understand why things fail. After all, with the most genuine of intentions, shouldn't we succeed? The truth is, we aren't all doing what we would love to do. That in and of itself is a letdown. I'm tired of all the "get off your butt and let's do it" pep talks. They do not inspire me to experiment.
I have been disappointed by my heroes, mentors, and family members. I have often tried to be the hero and have disappointed the very same people -- with alarming regularity. So how to deal? With love, I suspect. I don't think I'll get over my disappointment easily. I had encouraged and supported her (okay, maybe pushed) with one path. The fact that she's taking another gives me a profound sense of loss. I hope for the impossible -- that she'll change her mind. But I'm not sure. Going down the safe path, it's hard to turn around and choose the other. |
Bernadette Sukley |
| About the author: |
| Bernadette Sukley has written, edited, fact checked for nearly 20 years. Her topics range from health to sports and lifestyle, from human interest to hard news. Her work has appeared in Men’s Health, Sports Illustrated for Women, and ABROAD magazines. Currently polishing up 3 novels for publication, she welcomes discussions on women and literature.
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