Q: My life is way too busy, and I’m spending a crazy amount of time with work projects. I bring work home and usually go into the office on Saturdays. By Sunday, I’m too tired to have any fun. Something needs to change. Any thoughts?
A: Your question speaks to a hot topic in coaching -- life balance. We can explore life balance from many angles (and probably will in future columns). For now, let’s begin with some basics.
Coaches often ask new clients to fill out a life wheel (also sometimes called a coaching mandala) to indicate their level of satisfaction in various areas of their life. Here’s a standard life wheel:
• Create Your Life Wheel
A life wheel can have as few or as many areas to it as are relevant to your particular life. Depending on your interests and situation, you might separate some of these areas (for example, Nutrition and Exercise for Health, or Friends and Family as two separate areas). You can also add other areas, such as social activism or a favorite hobby. (I know of several people for whom Dogs would be a prominent section.)
• Rank Yourself
After you delineate the areas of your life wheel, rank your level of satisfaction in each area, from 1 (low; in the center) to 10 (high; to the outer edge of the circle). For example, your question indicates a level of dissatisfaction with your work life, so give that a number. Do the same for the other areas of your life. Then graph your ratings on your life wheel. Here’s an example:
• Review Your “Results”
Take some time to reflect on this snapshot of your life and current level of satisfaction in the various areas. Here are some question to help get you started:
* What stands out for you as you look at your life wheel?
* In what areas are you satisfied -- thriving, even?
* What areas are neglected?
* Which ones take up too much attention?
* Which one(s) would you most like to grow or heal?
* Which one, if attended to, could have the most immediate positive impact on your life -- or the most powerful impact, or the most lasting?
* If you already know that work takes up too much of your time and energy, where would you like to put that time and energy after you address the work situation?
• Make a Two-Pronged Plan
The quickie version of this step is two-pronged. (Working one on one with a coach is much more in-depth and personalized than the paragraphs below.)
* Address the work excess. What’s one thing you can identify right now that will ease your work situation? Perhaps it’s carving out some non-work time and protecting it as fiercely as a mother bear protects her cubs. Perhaps it’s enlisting the assistance of an ally (such as a friend, a co-worker, or a coach) to help you brainstorm steps you can take to make work more manageable. Perhaps it’s making a list of long-term strategies that will support you in managing this part of your life on an ongoing basis (such as learning to say no, quitting a bad job, or having a courageous conversation with your boss about limits and boundaries). Whatever you come up with as a strategy -- even just the first step to a full strategy -- take that step. Do the first thing you know will have an impact. You might be surprised by how much the entire system shifts once you overcome your inertia. If it doesn’t shift, take the second step and see what that one catalyzes.
* Grow your vision: What did you identify as the life area where you’d prefer to invest your time and energy? Explore your new vision of your life with that piece in place. Maybe it’s growing a garden, taking photography classes, getting involved in a social change group, or spending more time with a young person. See yourself doing it -- make the vision real in your mind’s eye. Your passion for the activities you love will spur you on in your quest to make it real. That, in turn, will fuel your motivation to address your work situation with more gusto. |
Kira Freed |
| About the author: |
| Kira Freed is a Certified Life Coach (CLC) and former psychotherapist with master's degrees in counseling psychology and anthropology. She has been passionate about personal growth since her teenage years and has been fortunate to attend a wealth of professional trainings and workshops. She has worked in the field of human development since 1990 and is inspired by and honored to collaborate with coaching clients in the emergence and expression of their authentic selves. Kira lives in Tucson, Arizona, and most of her clients work with her by telephone. She can be reached at
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for more information or to book a coaching session. She offers a sliding scale, and the first session is free. This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it |
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