Crazy Because of the Kids |
My mother jokes that each time you have a child, you lose several thousand brain cells. She has five kids. I tell her it's a lame excuse for forgetting my name. She says: "Shush up, whoever you are!"
No, my mom doesn't have Alzheimer's disease, but she does feel that children make you sort of funny in the head. Eleanor Roosevelt was no dolt and she had six children, so Mom needs another justification for calling me Denise.
But if I had a chance to talk to Eleanor, I'm sure she'd admit to having those moments where she thought she might go nuts if she heard another "Mommy, can I have a …?" question lobbed at her from someone under 10 years of age. I'm sure she yelled at the kids after she tripped over their toys. I'm sure there was time when she politely explained what "me time" was to her offspring. She'd certainly laugh, recalling the frogs, kittens, and other small critters that were sneaked into her home. Whether it was she or the help, she certainly kept things running smoothly to make way for FDR to serve three-plus terms as president.
I don't think having kids makes you wacky. I do think it should be a prerequisite. I think you need to be a little goofy before you have children.
Think about it. You want to have a being in your home more helpless that a puppy or a kitten. Even baby gerbils can find the water bottle in their cages. You will have to teach this being, whose IQ is way less than yours, how to talk, walk, behave in public, not to scream in your ear, ask embarrassing questions in front of the in-laws (Why do you think Mommy and Daddy take showers together?), or play with their food. You have got to be insane…with love for them.
I have to envy Eleanor -- she was surrounded by experienced and paid staff who probably helped wipe runny noses, salvaged speeches with crayon on one side, and made sure the dog didn't eat the homework of the little Roosevelts.
Humorist Erma Bombeck said: It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
Maybe a regular break from the diapers and the baby formula would have helped my mom remember names. Maybe it would help me to remember to feed the dog, e-mail those three new clients, and pay that darned annoying electric bill.
Bombeck also said: I have a theory about the human mind. A brain is a lot like a computer. It will only take so many facts, and then it will go into overload and blow up.
I'm praying I get a two-minute warning on that one.
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Bernadette Sukley |
| About the author: |
| Bernadette Sukley has written, edited, fact checked for nearly 20 years. Her topics range from health to sports and lifestyle, from human interest to hard news. Her work has appeared in Men’s Health, Sports Illustrated for Women, and ABROAD magazines. Currently polishing up 3 novels for publication, she welcomes discussions on women and literature.
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