I did something the other day that went against nearly every fiber of my being. It contradicted all my training, went against the things I love, my very upbringing.
What was my heinous crime? I took old books to the dump. Now the librarian assured me that they would be recycled. And yet with a wink and a nudge, the head of the dump said: “Oh, sure, sure, they’ll be recycled...after they've been burned.”
I should have rescued all the books at that point. But prior to my trip to the dump, the librarian prepped me and said: “I have watched these books for over three years. They've never been touched and the others are donated books that are moldy, dirty, or beyond the 20-year limit,” she said. “There’s not a whole lot of shelf life in them any more.” It’s sad. She told me to “get over” my loathing of destroying useless books. The library had no more room. That was that. So I dumped them. I felt funny somehow. I caved. I compromised.
These days I notice how often I make compromises. I used to say: “I’ll never be like that” only to find myself in the middle of the same inane situation. I've had to amend my way of thinking because I or a loved one had been through the exact same situation. Reality smacks us in the face. I never thought I’d be a pushy sports/stage mom or a woman who spoils her smoogy-woogy (the family dog) or a wife who pouts because he forgot our anniversary.
Now, I think we should compromise our principles daily. It is a way to get those noses back into joint. We can't afford to keep certain things sacred. We must let go of our principles by degrees. Whether it is due to age or to health. We must eat our words. Become humble or be humiliated.
Please understand we must be true to ourselves. That’s the balance we need to learn, compassion with truth. Be a painter, but don’t be above cleaning homes to keep bread on the table.
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Bernadette Sukley |
| About the author: |
| Bernadette Sukley has written, edited, fact checked for nearly 20 years. Her topics range from health to sports and lifestyle, from human interest to hard news. Her work has appeared in Men’s Health, Sports Illustrated for Women, and ABROAD magazines. Currently polishing up 3 novels for publication, she welcomes discussions on women and literature.
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