If you read anything this year you have to check out bOObs: A Guide to Your Girls by Elisabeth Squires.
Now I’m the old school type gal. My boobs get in the way of things that I like. Sports, tank T-shirts (please do not say “wife-beaters”) and all over tans. They have been a nuisance ever since high school when girls were judged on the amount of flesh they did or didn’t have on their torsos. So reading this book was incredibly important for me. I ignored them wholesale, but Squires suggests that it’s an important part of femininity to know how important they are—to me and you.
Breasts have been symbols of fertility, stupidity and obesity. In ancient days, Squires explains, large breasts were assumed to have more milk. Today we know that even AA’s can successfully nurse a child. The blond bombshells of the 40’s and 50’s (Marilyn Monroe was a 36D) were never known for their intelligence. And super model measurements must be at or under 32B because to be more than that makes them too fat. Oddly enough, Squires reports that most women over 30 are in the range of 34C to 36D. So it’s not like supermodels do anything other than selling their own boobs to men.
Squires also gives us a background on the whole lexicon of breasts. From boobs to tits to rack she’s got a pretty extensive list of what nicknames our mammary glands have garnered over the centuries.
And this brings me to an important point of when to be boob-offended. Hooter’s airlines (the same owner as the chain of restaurants) were featured in our local newspaper more than a year ago because some local girls ready to venture into the wild blue yonder. You would have thought they cured cancer. Lots of ink, lots of photos, of course in their skimpy attire. In spring, 2006 the airline suspended all flights. Why? They say because of gas prices. I say it’s because a bunch of golf buddies drank too much and started mauling the girls. They must have been leaping off the planes. Pace airlines took over and all their stewards and stewardesses in formal uniform. Why did those poor girls even take the job? We all know what Hooter’s stands for—not the benign-looking owl on their logo.
I started a letter to the editor: There are young women making the most of their lives without the use of body parts to show the world how valuable they are. Yes, breasts are an integral part of who we are as women. But it’s not all we are. Ask any woman who has survived breast cancer. If it comes down to your life or your breasts, you better believe we’ll say goodbye to the girls in a second. We are able to let go of a symbol and retain the real woman within.
I didn’t send the letter in. I didn’t want to be seen as a boob hater. My sisters accused me of being a prude. But I think our breasts deserve a lot more respect.
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Bernadette Sukley |
| About the author: |
| Bernadette Sukley has written, edited, fact checked for nearly 20 years. Her topics range from health to sports and lifestyle, from human interest to hard news. Her work has appeared in Men’s Health, Sports Illustrated for Women, and ABROAD magazines. Currently polishing up 3 novels for publication, she welcomes discussions on women and literature.
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