I have almost always strived to be a fair person. Able to see and appreciate both sides. Okay, forget baseball season I get a little crazy; “almost always” becomes a stretch. But in the off season, when some things don’t add up, I go on a warpath. And I end up with the usual suspects.
For example, it seems that whenever my youngest is with her grandmother, in four days I know I will be at the doctor office. She’ll be diagnosed with some sort of virus, cold or strep throat. It’s uncanny how it happens. The creepy thing is that my mother-in-law is a retired nurse. Do they give a gold watch and a jar of disease when you leave? Of course I’m joking. But if you saw the look on my daughter’s face after they took blood for tests, you’d know I’m also half-serious. They never found out what she had, though she recovered.
I suspect that you all have your favorite villains, enemies and perps in your own family. They don’t call them black sheep for nothing. But what’s worse is how these sheep get a pass. The over-coddling mommy who allows sonny boy to get away with everything. The shrewish-tongue sister-in-law who never finds happiness (or a man). The heavily tattooed and pierced ever-child who shows up unexpectedly asking for money (just whose kid is she?). And who can forget the sweet bumbling brother who can’t operate a vacuum. These are our usual suspects. They can ruin your day, week and perhaps if they’re on game, they’ll ruin your entire year.
To be fair, I have to wonder: Am I a villain in someone’s life? Have I ruined a party? Interrupted someone’s perfectly good day with a stupid request? Have I made someone grit their teeth? Embarrassed my relatives? Made someone sick? The answer to (only of few of) those questions is yes. The deeper question is: Do I do this consistently? That answer is no. The key characteristic of a usual suspect is that they regularly wreck havoc.
The trick is to ruin their capacity to ruin your life. This comes in the form of edicts, ultimatums and absolute no’s. Unfortunately, women, even my strong minded sisters, have a problem with these. Occasionally, we have our shining moments. Like when my younger sibling told her sister-in-law: I love you, but please call first before you visit. My other sister said to her husband: No we will not buy a house for your mother--she has a job. And I had to tell my mother-in-law: No I’m sorry you are welcome to visit but you cannot live here, our budget and living space is too tight.
Do our absolute no’s sound cold to you? Probably, but I’m willing to bet there are villains in your life who push your buttons and make you reach for aspirin more often than you’d care to admit. Until you say no you will always have to deal with your usual suspects. |
Bernadette Sukley |
| About the author: |
| Bernadette Sukley has written, edited, fact checked for nearly 20 years. Her topics range from health to sports and lifestyle, from human interest to hard news. Her work has appeared in Men’s Health, Sports Illustrated for Women, and ABROAD magazines. Currently polishing up 3 novels for publication, she welcomes discussions on women and literature.
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