For years my sisters and I devoured Vogue, Cosmopolitan, and Elle. We needed to know what to wear and how to put on mascara, and we had to take the quizzes to learn what REALLY turns men on. We grew up. Our tastes have changed, and today we love our Veranda, Southern Living, and Psychology Today.
Beauty is, as it has always been, something that exudes from the intangible spirit. Listening to one of my favorite artists, Nanci Griffith, I honed in on her description of how a woman (perhaps her?) and her sister grew up. The song is set "…Texas back in '69," and the singer bemoans the fate of her sister, the prettier of the two and yet the lesser in substance.
Can't you see she needed more than "oh what a pretty child"?
You never told her truth from lies, all you told her was to smile.
She rails against her parents who failed to educate their daughter properly and who overemphasized the physical. Rightly so. Girls develop their sense of self with support from their parents, a good bit of it from their fathers.
When beauty's all you offer, how soon the world discovers that your beauty's gone.
This song is decades old. And yet with all our innate knowledge of what true beauty is, our confidence in our accomplishments, our belief in our own power, physical beauty trumps all. Vogue, Cosmo, and Elle are still around. We buy media print, TV, Internet that regular tosses our physical inadequacies at us. (Thank God for radio.) As if ten extra pounds, brown eyes, and gray hair makes us incompetent mothers and unhappy wives. Why do we believe the garbage about feeling good being equated with appearance?
My sisters still gab about girl stuff -- not because it's critical to our functioning as women, but because it's like small talk. Our important discussions center around family, politics, and the state of women. So where is our true beauty magazine? We grew up, but the magazine industry has not. It creates a problem, makes you believe you have it, and then tells you that unless you have their publication you will not be happy, fulfilled, or beautiful.
Just smile, they say. Sure. After I'm done recycling all those old magazines. I say ditch Cosmo and join this group of supportive, self-affirming women who aren't afraid of (gasp) ten extra pounds. |
Bernadette Sukley |
| About the author: |
| Bernadette Sukley has written, edited, fact checked for nearly 20 years. Her topics range from health to sports and lifestyle, from human interest to hard news. Her work has appeared in Men’s Health, Sports Illustrated for Women, and ABROAD magazines. Currently polishing up 3 novels for publication, she welcomes discussions on women and literature.
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