So much of the time, we wear sad-sack socks, quitter socks with no elastic that wind up pooled in the heels of our shoes or drab depressing socks that really don’t do our fabulous feet justice. Socks have enormous hidden potential: they are the site of our small rebellions against corporate dress codes (they can make you wear business dress, but can they make you stop wearing dinosaur socks?) or our self expression. And sometimes, they just keep our toes warm. This is also okay.

In any case, fall is sock season, and it’s time to stock up. Or sock up.

The venerable striped tube sock has been around for a long time now, but Skater Socks has brought new life to the tube sock genre, offering them in every possible length and stripe combination. Fabulous for exercise, skating (obviously) or just skidding down a long hall with a polished wood floor, which I believe is the traditional ceremonial use for tube socks. $13-$19

Business on the outside, party for your feet on the inside. These tres luxe women’s cashmere blend argyle socks convince everyone of your seriousness, even though all you’re really doing is wiggling your toes blissfully inside your shoes and thinking about taking a nap. $14

These opaque tights with fishnet uppers are another set of secret-agent sock product altogether. From the knees downward, they’re very sensible, but the boyshort + fishnets uppers make a great transition from office to a certain kind of date night. $9

We’ve talked argyles and tights, but what about argyle tights? This is a total argyle solution—kind of like getting vinyl siding on your house. But, you know… argyle. And for your legs. $50

Argyle isn’t for everybody. Well, it is, but sometimes you want a day off, and you’re wearing a dress, and what you really need are plus-sized striped tights. These are a crazy bargain at $7.

Whether you need to pacify that part of you that always thought you’d grow up to be a paleontologist or are just hoping to freak out your coworkers if there’s a power outage, you can’t deny the appeal of the glow-in-the-dark dinosaur socks. $7.99

Okay, so you want something a little zippy, but not something that’s going to make your boss wonder whether she should make a discreet call to HR? The metallic mini-stripe socks are a nice compromise. $7.50

Are you feeling extremely severe and competent? The pinstripe trouser sock may be for you. I think in these, you can either go all Michael Douglas in Wall Street, or else, find someone who, if you take your glasses off in front of them, can be relied on to say "Marianne*, I never knew you were beautiful." (Note: If you just so happen to let your beautiful hair tumble out of its severe bun at the same time, we can’t be responsible for any clichés that result.) $6

Aquariums are relaxing. That’s why they put them in doctor’s offices (but we still notice when we have to wait for three hours, go figure). I’m not sure wearing these sea life socks will relax you, but it’s worth a try. $8.50

Sometimes the last thing you want is to have all your toes confined together in the dark, crowded together like cattle in a feed yard. Try confining each toe separately instead; it’s so much more festive, especially in these multicolored hot sox toe socks. $11

By now, it’s possible your arms are feeling sort of jealous. "I do all the typing and the chopping and carrying," they think sadly, "and yet I have no real accessories. All the feet do is just stand there." Tell your arms we’ve got them covered. Literally, actually, with arm warmers. These particular warmers are hot-swappable from arms to legs, so you can even make them do double duty. $20

Is it possible the sock industry is run by a secret conglomerate set on swathing everything in stretchy knit? I ask only because arm warmers and iPod socks seem to indicate a certain sock-aggrandizing tendency. Not that that’s a bad thing**. Anyway, the iPod socks are not only cute, they’ll also help protect the pod from its infernal tendency to scratch at the slightest touch. $29

*You are contractually obligated to call yourself Marianne while you wear these socks. See user agreement.

**Well, I mean cat socks? Would be bad. But what about book socks? Book socks sound sort of nice.