I know I profesed my love for Joy Nash, but that was a bit tongue in cheek. My true love lies elsewhere.
“Who do you love best?” my son asked me. He is 4 ½ years old, and likes to snuggle. The obvious answer came to me instantly.
“I love you best of all!”
He broke out of snuggle mode, sat up, and looked me in the eye. “No mom! That’s not the right answer!. You know the right answer. Try again.” He folded himself back into me, waiting for my revised answer.
I thought about it a moment, and then realized, he was right. That was the wrong answer. “I love me best of all”, I told him. He smiled. “Yes mom, that’s it. I love me best of all too. But I love you around earth, around the solar system, around Saturn, around, Jupiter, around Venus, around Mars, and back again” he assured me.
Somewhere in the blur of parenting, I told him he should always love himself and how important it is that we love ourselves. He has interpreted this to mean we should love ourselves best of all. I’m not going to argue with that. In fact, I’m willing to believe him, and live it.
If I love myself best, I will feel good about myself and be able to give my best self to those around me
I will never be without love.
It sounds conceited to some. It is not about listing off all of my great attributes and why I love myself. It’s just that warm, unconditional kind of love that makes me want to treat myself well. It’s the way I love my partner, siblings, child – I give them a lot of leeway in life. I want the very best for them. I always wish them well.
- I give myself a lot of leeway.
- I want the very best for myself.
- I always wish myself well.
When I would put myself down, a friend of mine would say “would you say that about me?” Of course, I wouldn’t. I saw the best in her, not the worst. I saw solutions for her challenges, not insurmountable problems. Yet, when I turned to look at myself, I only saw problems, challenges, and failure. I was not a friend to myself. Loving myself means seeing myself as I am and accepting who I am. I am a decent human being, worthy of respect, worthy of joy, and worthy of love. Life is easier when I’m kind to myself. I feel whole and able to give more when I feel loved. Although I’m fortunate to have lots of people who love me in my life (you do love me, don’t you?), there is a great comfort in knowing I don’t need that love…mine is built in. And so is my son’s.
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