Guest Blog: She Has It All |
Do you envy a woman? You know the one I’m talking about: confident, put-together... succeeds at everything she does. She looks great and beams with confidence. There is nothing she cannot do. Everyone who knows her will tell you how fantastic she is. She might be a family member, a friend, a co-worker. You wish you were her because she has it all.
For me, one of these women is my little sister. As the youngest child who arrived later in the family, my little sister was adored by her parents and two much older sisters. She didn’t have the restrictions my other sister and I had growing up. She got everything she wanted...even when she didn’t want it because her big sisters lavished on her everything they felt “deprived” of when they were growing up. I love my little sister and am so very proud of what she has accomplished and the ease with which she goes through life.
My little sister is very intelligent and did well in school—she read storybooks to her classmates in Kindergarten! In elementary school she acted as sort of a teacher’s aide, helping students who needed it because she finished her assignments so quickly her teacher could not keep up with her. (Sure, she had moments in high school, but those were the growing pains of adolescence.) My little sister’s success didn’t stop there. It continued into her adult years and my pride and admiration continued as I watched her accomplishments. She could get any job she wanted, even when she didn’t have any experience (I struggle to get jobs for which I am well qualified); she draws friends like a magnet (I am shy and have only a handful of acquaintances); she has a loving husband who treats her like a queen and they have an amazing child (I don’t even have a boyfriend); she is praised and held up as an example within the family (I always come up short). How I envy her! An additional thing I envy about my little sister is that she is completely unfazed by the societal pressures for skinniness. She is a happy person and at ease in her full figure. She is pretty and has a gift for doing hair and putting herself together so that she always looks great. She is aware of trends and always manages to look current without seeming overdone. She approaches life with confidence and assurance and joy. No wonder I want her life! She has it all.
The last few months have afforded me a unique experience: I have had the privilege of taking a peek into my sister’s heart. That confidence and ease I admired, the jokes, the bravado...all a facade! Everything I admired about her was a mask behind which hid years of suffering and fears. She has it all...yet here she is struggling with insecurities not unlike my own. I never knew!
The next time you find yourself envying that woman; the next time you wish you had her life because she has it all...give her a hug. Smile at her. Find some little way to brighten her day. Most of us don’t get the opportunity to see what is happening in another person’s head. That glow of confidence you admire may be nothing more than the light show she uses to keep us from seeing her own frailties and insecurities. The thing you envy about her could be the thing she struggles with the most. Let her know you admire her.
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Brenda Goels lives in Calgary, Alberta, with her dog and a goldfish. She enjoys walking her dog, watching movies, reading, and doing a variety of crafts. She is active in her church. Brenda admires here sisters...both of them.
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