I've been feeling awfully witchy lately. I've been out of sorts, disgruntled, wondering whether this shift in my state of being is becoming a way of life and whether the fog will ever lift. I could blame my dark moods on a change in the weather or Halloween, which is creeping around the corner. Maybe that explains my witchiness. Or perhaps I have a wicked good reason.
Witches have been on my mind ever since I saw the Broadway musical "Wicked" last weekend. The two main characters are witches, and the story has an ironic underlying twist: questioning what appears to be good versus what appears to be bad. Galinda (who changes her name to Glinda) is perceived as all good when, in fact, she can be self-centered, manipulative, and conniving to ensure her popularity. Her friend Elphaba is just the opposite. She is perceived as all bad because she doesn't look "normal" compared to the rest of the world.
Simply by being who she is, Elphaba serves as a mirror to others -- opening the eyes of those willing to see, frightening those afraid to look. As the story unfolds, Elphaba discovers her true beauty by reaching far deeper than skin to access her unique talents and strengths. She applies her instincts, using her newfound unlimited power for good. But for reasons beyond her control, her altruistic intentions backfire on her. Elphaba can't overcome the stigma assigned to her, and there's not a darn thing she can do about it. Although she holds fast to her faith, trust, and integrity, they come at a price, and ultimately she pays the penalty of silence. Being vocal does not yield success for poor, misunderstood Elphaba.
That's all of the story I'm going to give away -- enough to give this girl sobering food for thought. Stand up for what you believe in, and you may lose in the end. Say that which is less than popular, and you may be chastised for going against the current. Stick your neck out, and you may find yourself rowing that boat yourself. And yet, what is the alternative? Living in fear? Compromising your values? Suppressing your truths so that others can be at ease?
So often I feel as though I am in situations where I have to decide whether telling the truth is worth paying the price. Whether the topic is religion, politics, or interpersonal relationships, it's often far easier to only speak my mind to those who are already agreeable, or keep my mouth shut to avoid confrontation. Sometimes it's better to keep my thoughts to myself rather than risk hurting someone or having my views rejected. However, I've never been one to disguise my feelings and opinions behind a mask or wear a plastic smile. That doesn't mean I'm blunt or that I say whatever I want, whenever I like. But I can't keep quiet when I have something important to say that I believe needs to be heard -- that is, if I'm being honest with the people around me. I take a risk when I stand up to be counted: I may have to stand alone and accept the consequences.
Sometimes having to make that choice makes me feel like a wicked old witch, saying what I feel needs to be said even if it falls on deaf or resistant ears. Then so be it. At those times, I wish I could be like Elphaba and learn to levitate. Then I'd rise above it all while staying true to myself.
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