A: Great question. I'm going to stray from my regular style of responding to questions and share something that's made a huge difference in my life. Hopefully it'll spark some ideas of your own.

My Basic Operating Principle in life is to spend as little time as possible on the things I hate so I can spend as much time as possible on the things I love. Based on that, I've developed a series of strategies designed to simplify my life. I don't expect everyone to adopt my Top Ten; in fact, some of you may think I've "gone 'round the bend," as they say in Scotland. I share my list to get yours cooking. You'll come up with your own Top Ten, and hopefully they'll have as enormous an impact on your life as mine have on my life.

Here's my list. Remember -- it's just an example.

1. No cooking. Not only don't I prepare fancy meals or pore over recipes for hours, I don't even own a cookbook. My aspirations in the kitchen run no higher than scrambled eggs and steamed veggies, and everyday meals are often as simple as cottage cheese and a banana.

I do, however, take seriously what I eat, being someone who cares about my health. Here, too, I simplify: no wheat, no refined sugars, no empty calories, and minimal foods that aren't chemical-free. My body appreciates these choices, which simplifies health care as well. I developed my way of eating over a period of more than twenty years (not without quite a bit of struggle, I might add) by learning to respond to my body's promptings. My lack of colds and overall good health are strong reinforcements for my choices.

2. No wasting energy on clothes. When asked his opinion of the latest styles, John Robbins, environmentalist and author of Diet for a New America, replied, "I really never give a thought to style." I'm pretty much the same. I own several pairs of black jeans and a bunch of clothes that match them, such as solid-color T-shirts, a few dressy T-shirts, a black sweatshirt, and a gray Polartec jacket. (As you may imagine, this simplifies the chore of doing laundry.) I don't buy clothes that require hand washing or dry cleaning. I have a couple of special-occasion outfits that I wear less than once a year, since "Tucson casual" is acceptable almost everywhere I go. On the rare occasions when I become concerned that my casual style will be inappropriate, I remember the words of an ex-brother-in-law: "Who in the world do you think really cares?!" Comfort, economy, and low maintenance guide my clothing choices.

3. No excessive shopping. The Supreme Deity of Consumerism banks on us always wanting more because we're not okay with things as they are right now, ourselves in particular. So we need to buy lots of stuff to make things okay -- clothes, make-up, accessories, new furniture, breast implants, and so on, ad nauseum.

I've pretty much banned the Wanting-Things Demon from my life. Some of that was a conscious choice to use my money on priorities (travel, travel, and travel). And some of it came from periods in my life when finances were severely limited and I realized I was just fine even when I couldn't buy everything I wanted. Because I promised myself not to have credit card debt, during the lean times I only bought what I could pay off within a month. That practice has continued.

Of course, I do buy things from time to time -- the necessities (groceries, new underwear, and so forth) and also an occasional treat (while I'm a great fan of libraries, sometimes I happen on a book I must have). More to the point, living frugally has allowed me to spend two magical months in the Scottish Highlands, three weeks participating in a Spanish immersion program in Mexico, three months caretaking a horse farm in rural Washington, and two weeks at an Appalachian music camp in West Virginia. It's also made possible trips to all fifty U.S. states, a five-month pause to heal gently following my father's traumatic death, and six months volunteering at the United Farm Workers headquarters while Cesar Chavez was still alive. Whether grand adventures or simply welcome breaks from the 9-to-5 routine, I've created many opportunities to follow my passions through day-to-day living that does not consume my finances.

I'm not talking about living the life of a complete ascetic; I'm talking about developing the ability to say I have enough. I don't need any more.I have enough prevents automatic buying. It creates choices, which in turn create fulfillment and peace.

4. Get rid of clutter. I've moved so frequently for most of my adult life that it's been hard to accumulate many possessions. Until I moved to Tucson in 2000, I averaged almost one move per year since high school. My nomadic lifestyle kept me motivated to travel light. Even when I've stayed put for a little while, I conduct a twice-yearly ritual of going through everything I own and pitching, selling, or giving away what I don't need. Over the years I've only parted with two things I wish I had kept -- a tenor banjo and a plush rabbit. I'll probably replace the banjo someday. I still miss the rabbit sometimes, but then I remember the wide-eyed delight of the boy who bought it at one of my yard sales.

5. Rent instead of buying. No yard work, no repair bills for major appliances, it's not my problem if something breaks. Need I say more?

6. Say no when appropriate. Learning to say no was not instantaneous. I took assertiveness classes, worked on it in therapy, practiced with family and friends who were not always pleased with my newfound ability. Saying no makes life so much simpler that I am motivated to continually refine this skill. Take, for example, my last job's company Christmas party—a holiday I don't celebrate, food I won't eat, and socializing in a large group, which I don't do well. No, thanks, I'll pass. Simple as that.

I've taken to saying no to a wide variety of people. Not everyone, and not all the time. But here's the test: I close my eyes, take a few deep breaths, and imagine I said yes. If I feel tight and resentful, I know saying yes in real life will run counter to what serves me. Occasionally I override my test results because I love someone dearly or owe them a huge favor, but I always remind myself I have a choice.

7. Screen phone calls. Every incoming call has to get past the answering machine before it reaches me. Telemarketers are automatically screened out. And I get to hear simple messages without engaging in long discussions. I talk with people when I want to. But I can determine when if I'm not programmed, à la Pavlov's dog, to interrupt my life every time the telephone rings. Answering the phone has the effect of always putting someone else's agenda and timetable before my own. I don't want to be available to the world all the time, and I have choice in that matter as well.

8. Don't spend time with people I'm incompatible with. This one has made my life waaaaay simpler. First I had to get to where I was completely okay with being alone (again, good therapy helped enormously). Then I had to pay attention how much energy I'd been putting into trying to make things work with certain people, and how much stress that created in my life. Now I no longer put energy into trying to fit round pegs into square holes. My friend Elizabeth, a science editor, has a great analogy: Some chemical compounds explode when combined. If you don't want an explosion, keep them separate. Simple as that.

I'll go out on a limb here and share that three of the people I don't spend time with are immediate family members. After devoting a great deal of hard work to those relationships, I finally realized that nothing short of becoming a doormat was going to get them to work, so I let them go. I had to do a fair bit of grieving to get to a sense of peace about those decisions. I'm glad I did. Being able to grieve is a much more valuable skill than beating my head against a wall.

9. Make regular dates with myself. I've learned to treat myself as my own best friend. I block out regular times on my calendar for dates with myself. For the most part, nothing short of an earthquake or medical emergency interferes with these dates. And what do I do during them? Whatever I want -- a candlelight bath, a long walk in my favorite canyon, an evening at home reading, doing art, or looking at old photographs -- whatever nourishes my soul and appeals to me in the moment. My goal is to be with myself in a way that gets me out of overachiever mode, loosens up my creativity, and feeds an in-the-moment sense of peace.

10. Cultivate faith in life and faith in the future. It's like having a peaceful inner garden I can visit whenever I want -- much more nourishing than worrying all the time. This Ramakrishna quote is my inspiration: The winds of grace are blowing all the time. All we have to do is raise our sails.

Okay, enough about me. Now it's your turn to come up with your own list for simplifying your life. Sit with yourself. Give focused thought to your priorities and how to weed out extraneous activities, possessions, concerns. Give voice to your deep longings, and allow your intuition to guide the process. How do you want to spend your time, and what in your life interferes?

Be honest about your priorities. You might need to first wade through layers of expectations you have of yourself, or others have of you, that obscure who you really are. You might discover that several inner voices aren't really yours -- they're the voice of a parent or teacher who had plans for you that don't coincide with your wishes.

You might also need to face the realization that your current lifestyle doesn't give you room to live by your most deeply held values. You deserve that life. What will it take for you to get there?

READERS: Send your tips for simplifying your life to This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it and put "Kira" in the subject line. I'll share your responses in a future column.

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