What comes to mind when you think about life coaching? Do you believe the job of a life coach is to kick your butt, crack the whip, and make you accountable for what you said you'd do?

Life coaching has a bit of a distorted reputation because one aspect of the field has been overrepresented in the media. Like overzealous fitness trainers, life coaches have been portrayed as completely focused on results and accountability.

Good coaching respects the balance between content and process. Sure, you bring your goals to coaching, and a coach supports you in attaining them. But it's not a matter of ticking off action steps on a list -- it's much more like a treasure hunt.

Bringing your curiosity, passions, and goals to the table launches you on an adventure. A good coach supports the process by collaborating with you to design experiments, observe results, and make course corrections to get you where you want to go. Coaching isn't a cookie-cutter technique -- it's an organic process that harnesses your unique passions, values, and style in service of your dreams.

The bottom-line job of a life coach is to meet you where you are and support you in moving forward at a pace that works for you. One model of where you might be, proposed by Frederic Hudson (in The Adult Years and Life Launch), posits four recurring stages of life.

Phase 1: Going For It
In this phase, you feel on track and aligned with your purpose. Your energy and focus are high, and you have an overall sense that life is good.

Phase 2: Doldrums
You may feel out of sorts, burned out, or have a vague sense of something in your life not quite fitting right. Many people in the doldrums try to do more of what they were doing in Phase 1, hoping to bring back that feeling of balance and well-being. This often leads to greater malaise because the doldrums phase is a signal that something new is cooking inside you. Reframing the doldrums as a wake-up call can open up powerful new possibilities.

Phase 3: Cocooning
People who've experienced the doldrums often need to separate from old ways and take time out to allow new directions to emerge. Cocooning can take the form of a sabbatical, scheduled times of solitude (such as one day each week), or a separation from activities, relationships, or work that no longer fit.

Phase 4: Getting Ready
This is the preparation phase for launching a new direction. It might involve training, trying out new directions, and networking with new people. This phase launches a fresh Phase 1, where energy is high and you're on track with your new direction.

A good life coach respects where you are in this process and allows your internal rhythms to determine appropriate coaching goals. If you're feeling stuck, a coach will assist you in identifying obstacles and moving through them. If you're not stuck, a coach will accompany you as you move through the phases, supporting you to fully extract the wisdom and growth in each one.

Either way, life coaching is quite a bit different from getting your butt kicked. A coach won't breathe down your neck and hound you to push through the pain. Instead, he or she will support you to bring greater awareness to where you are while also helping you keep your eyes on the horizon.

Got a question?
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