We are intuitive about life, we women. It's true -- I even heard a man say to trust your mother when she says of your friends: "I just don't like him [or her]." While mothers can rarely put their finger on it, they get the feeling that something isn't quite right.
How is it that our intuitive sense is supposed to be honed while we mature, but then we lose it? Somewhere along the line, it goes. Or perhaps we only have it when it comes to certain things. It happened that I was on the receiving end of the loss of intuition when I started to work for a female editor. She was effusive in her praise, so I sent her submission after submission. Then nothing. I got zero feedback, no acknowledgement, nothing. A friend told me if she's ignoring you, she doesn't want your work. Fine. Then just say so.
This woman was not a shrinking violet, but she didn't have the courage or intuition to know that she should give an explanation as to her silence. My mother-in-law is the same way. She was an emergency room nurse. She had to yell at doctors, calm parents, comfort children with broken limbs, perform stitches, sop up blood, and worse. She is, however, totally unable to sit and talk with me about anything meaningful. I know she doesn't like me, but I don't know why. If she could give me something concrete, such as tell me she disagrees with the way I run my house -- that I could handle. I could defend or at least discuss my philosophy with her. However, the small talk about the weather is inane, and her denial that she has issues doesn't jibe with her life experience. We can't all be that cowardly to keep our thoughts and feelings to ourselves.
I know that the dynamics of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships are often fraught with disharmony. I understand that she has every right to be picky for her children. She's had to weather the storms of the poor choices her sons and daughter have made. However, she should intuitively know I love her son. I have nothing but his best interests at heart. I am stymied by her lack of faith in that and in me. Bitter? Nah, I don't have the time. I do, however, have time to keep my intuition going. I am going to use it so I don't lose it. I want to challenge you and encourage you -- if something stinks, say so.
We have a right to opinions and feedback -- if it isn't what you were looking for, get some guts and tell me. I don't need nasty, just the facts. I am always up for a new mousetrap. Innovation is the end result of intuition.
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Bernadette Sukley |
| About the author: |
| Bernadette Sukley has written, edited, fact checked for nearly 20 years. Her topics range from health to sports and lifestyle, from human interest to hard news. Her work has appeared in Men’s Health, Sports Illustrated for Women, and ABROAD magazines. Currently polishing up 3 novels for publication, she welcomes discussions on women and literature.
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