Everybody loves bacon.  Even vegetarians . But how can you proclaim your bacon love?  Wear, as it were, your bacon on your sleeve?  The products below provide you with a variety of ways to proclaim your bacon loyalty—or else it proves that the sick imagination of retailers knows no bounds.  You decide. 

Taking “bringing home the bacon” disturbingly literally, Patina  gives us the bacon wallet.  It’s not really made of bacon, but it looks close enough to scare strangers.  $8.95



Strawberry-flavored gummy bacon?  Why not?  It jiggles, it wiggles, it looks like bacon and tastes like strawberries.  Cognitive dissonance in a conveniently portable box!  $3.79



Paper cut?  Bandage it with bacon.  Attract other bacon aficionados with your faux bacon first-aid skillz! $4.75



Crispy bacon flavors with a “hint of mint,” these savory bacon mints are bound to be a flavor explosion.  If nothing else, they’ll be a surprise to the next moocher who says “hey, does anybody have a breath mint?” $1.99



Life is hard.  Sometimes you need a guide.  Someone to look up to.  A mentor, if you will.  Bacon can be that someone.  When you find yourself searching for an answer, whip out your handy What Would Bacon Do? spinner, and find out whether you should “taste really good,” or “sizzle.”  (Bonus: it opens up into a folder!) $4.98



Sometimes, your car gets a suspicious smell.  Buy the Sizzling Bacon Scent car air freshener to change it to a delicious smell.  $4.95



What’s the one room in your house that totally lacks bacon décor?  The bathroom, obviously.  Remedy that with bacon toilet paper. $9.95

Eggnog, twinkling lights, Christmas carols, and…bacon!  Deck the halls with this ceramic bacon ornament. $15.95

Appropriate for any holiday, bacon gift wrap is sure to be surprise for your special someone. $3.95

Even the most anonymous-looking black bag will be easy to find on the luggage carousel with these bacon luggage tags. $5.50



The people have spoken, and bacon tape has answered.  Verily, it sayeth, you may sticketh things to other things with bacon, lo.  Or something like that. $4.95

Not technically a bacon product, this coaster begs for inclusion.  It expresses the deeply buried fantasy of bacon fans everywhere: a bacon machine.  If you can buy sandwiches from a machine, why not bacon? $4.99



Finally, we have…Diet Coke!  With bacon!!!*   

*Just kidding.  This doesn’t really exist.  But don’t you kind of wish it did?