Once upon a time I had a close friend. She and I would sit together, at the end of nearly every day. I’d tell her everything that happened to me. My feelings and frustrations. I’d describe the faces of people who with a look, a smile, or a compliment restored my faith in the human race.
She’d be silent at first. After I was done she’d repeat back to me verbatim everything. I was able to see where I over reacted or needed to resolve a problem or remember to say thanks to someone I’d forgotten.
She was my journal. Now we are strangers. I haven’t visited with her in ages. Haven’t even been able to just write the date and that I’m alive.
I have another, more alluring “friend” who beckons with more immediate gratification. My personal blog. I get to see my words in black and white on the screen. And the added ego boost of knowing that many others see it to. Is it better to blog or write? But because I shun my journal have I fallen out of love with the written word?
I have another very dear, very real friend (98.6 and everything) whose birthday is this week. She, like my mother, was born under the sign of Gemini, the twins. She says this means she is able to see both sides of any argument. But please, she says, don’t ask for an immediate decision! In their honor, I’ll quickly visit both sides of the written word argument.
An editor friend in New York is profoundly grateful for my missives, loves receiving hand-written mail. Apologizes for not sending as many of her own. She admits that it’s just more efficient to send e-mails. She abbreviates, adds the “smileys” and uses as much punctuation as humanly possible. I think I counted 12 exclamation points once.
For the most part it IS so much easier to sit at the keyboard and tap away than to take the time to get out a piece of paper, search for a pen (with ink) and jot down a few concise, meaningful lines. Further, stamps are now 41 cents. I wonder if the post office, like every other company, is forcing humans into a cashless, paperless society. True, we literally stamp out far too many forests and recycle so little paper. And only 10%-19% of paper is actually recycled. We can save trees with computers.
But we have to think about the physicality of notes. A specialist in long distance relationships told me that more than anything hand written letters meant more to those far away from their beloved than calls or emails. Why? Because letters are transitional objects. In non-shrink speak that means that when a person sends a letter to someone they send a piece of themselves with it. They are sending physical reminders and cues of what they mean/are to the receiver. Let’s not forget the power of our handwriting--the only font that can’t be copied.
Betsy’s beau lived about 400 miles away so they talked on the phone constantly. The only things she could leave her children and grandchildren as a witness to her courtship was phone bills. At the moving party, the bills got tossed in the bonfire. She’s no fool, a happy marriage is the best testament to love.
In the end I’ll blog happily, continue to send letters, but treat them as gifts. I’ll cut back on mailers, notices, and Christmas cards. Invites and press releases will be cyber mail only —that’s what the Internet is for. Maybe I’ll visit my journal, too.
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Bernadette Sukley |
| About the author: |
| Bernadette Sukley has written, edited, fact checked for nearly 20 years. Her topics range from health to sports and lifestyle, from human interest to hard news. Her work has appeared in Men’s Health, Sports Illustrated for Women, and ABROAD magazines. Currently polishing up 3 novels for publication, she welcomes discussions on women and literature.
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